The Saltless Regatta

Every wheel of cheese that leaves this valley passes through the customs house at Saltless, weighed against one sealed bronze standard.

For two years every wheel has come out light, by about a fortieth. Nobody up-valley believes the scales.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

⛵ TODAY IS THE REGATTA

Four thousand people face the sea.

The Weighmaster is out there with them — and the standard has to be back in its box before he is.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

⚔️ THE FIGHT IS THE ADVENTURE GOING WRONG, NOT THE GOAL

The antagonist is a person, not a monster.

The one encounter in this heist is what happens when the party is caught — not what they are meant to do.

🎲 A 45-page one-shot adventure for D&D 5e — 3-4 hours, 4 players, level 4.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

📦 WHAT YOU GET — 44 pages, nothing left for you to invent

▪ 5 scenes, every one written out in full: read-aloud text, what happens if they fail, what to do if they skip it

▪ 2 battle maps in three versions each — DM, player, and a copy with no grid. 70 px per 5-foot square, so it drops straight into Roll20 or Foundry already aligned

▪ 4 ready-to-play 4th-level characters, finished — ability scores, armour class, hit points, attacks, spells and gear. Hand them out and roll

▪ Every character in it, player and NPC alike, has a drawn portrait

▪ A plain-English glossary of the basic rules words — DC, saving throws, advantage

▪ A section for your first time running a game

▪ A summary up front listing every scene with its page and how hard each fight is

▪ 10 secrets, tables and handouts, and written help for when the party goes sideways

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🗓️ PART OF THE LOWMERE YEAR

Sixteen adventures in one valley, spring to winter, collected in one campaign book with a finale that is not sold on its own.

This adventure stands completely alone — it needs nothing from any other — but a table that plays four of them starts seeing the year take shape.

Anser Pell is in this one, and in three more of them.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✨ THIS IS FOR YOU IF

▪ You want a heist with a hard clock and a town that is looking the other way

▪ Your table would rather not be caught than win a fight

▪ You want a dnd one shot that fits in an evening and finishes

▪ You are new to running games and want the read-aloud text already written

▪ You run on Roll20 or Foundry and want maps that import at the right scale

▪ You want to hand out finished characters instead of spending session one building them

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

📄 THE FILES

Four PDFs, plus the maps.

▪ A4 — 45 pages, colour and printer-friendly

▪ US Letter — 50 pages, colour and printer-friendly

▪ 6 map images

🗺️ The battle maps also print at table scale — two extra PDFs, A4 and US Letter, lay every map out at one inch per five-foot square across numbered sheets with a cut line. Print them at home, tape them together and put miniatures on them.

The printer-friendly build is the same book in pure white, nothing removed.

⬇️ Instant digital download. Nothing is posted to you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

📜 THE SMALL PRINT

Compatible with Fifth Edition.

Made with AI assistance: the text and maps of this adventure were written and generated with AI, then edited, checked and laid out by hand.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🕯️ ONE GOOD EVENING

Games for a table, and for a chair by the fire.